Sinkhole: big mole!
It is Sunday, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and your dear servants are having an aperitif on the terrace before going to Cine 1 for a South Korean film, sinkhole. Surprisingly, there is no line in sight. It’s not like the session started on time! No choice, to avoid taking several bursts of “sit!”, we settle in front of the screen, the place where we read the subtitles while watching a tennis match.
sinkhole, is the story of a building in Seoul and its inhabitants, drunk people, who fall into a sinkhole. The building fell several hundred meters to become stuck between the muddy walls of the sinkhole. How are they going to get out of this mess?
Saulant is still the appropriate qualifier to designate the first two-thirds of this film, which, in addition to presenting a completely crazy and improbable story, offers us disturbingly mediocre acting. Probably paid with slingshots like the journalists at Meerkat, the actors never manage to make us believe for a single second that the situation they find themselves in is serious, helped a little it is true by a film badly placed between the comedy of science fiction and the real disaster movie. The first half hour is a pamphlet about real estate in Seoul, the second is a bad theatrical house-clos, where every main character overacts and runs like a headless chicken, and finally the third is the climax of the ridiculous, where every major string is pulled . a General Barnum. In the end, nothing saves this film, which passes San Andreas what a masterpiece.
If you want to admire a beautiful story about people trapped underground with water up to their necks, we recommend the excellent documentary The rescue on Disney+. MM
Moloch: STD (Sexually Transmitted Curse)
In a small town in Holland where people speak in rrr rrr rrr, Betriek has two big problems. She already has a crappy first name. But in addition, his family has a curse that means that women of a certain age end up with their throats in the same condition as Loïc Smars’s liver. And it’s not pretty to see. No, but seriously, if we made foie gras with it, it would taste like beer. Which wouldn’t be so bad anyway. If you’re reading this column and you see Loïc (90% chance he’s in the smoking room), would you be nice to pour him some GHB in his glass (if you don’t have any, you can ask Matthieu Matthys, he has always some on him) and call me. In short, on top of that, Betriek is a widow, has a child on her arm and lives with her parents. The beautiful VDM.
It’s been a long time since we had a Batavian feature film at BIFFF. The last one I had seen was Prooi by our dear friend Dick Maas with his digital lion wandering around Amsterdam. And to say that this film was not the pinnacle of his career is an understatement. With Moloch, Nico van den Brink, on the other hand, offers us a very classic horror film in its codes but with a very nice production and a dark atmosphere that follows you throughout the film like the smell of BIFFF burgers. Of course, the film does not come close to the monument of Dutch fantastic cinema, that is New Kids Nitro but what do you want, genius is not given to everyone. He still manages to transport us very quickly into his gloomy atmosphere also thanks to an excellent cast. A nice surprise therefore and a serious candidate for European competition. more serious than Rubicon in any case, see Loïc’s column below. ISLAND
Ritual: The (not at all) Blessed Time of the Colonies…
Zalava: a village with badcheye gendeh
Hey Matthew, doodoole kooshooloo! You see, I just insulted one of the founders of the little cock Meerkat in Persia. This amazing knowledge of such a rich language comes to me from my friend Samy who taught us all the possible insults in this magnificent yet little known language. Because our knowledge of Iran is often limited to banalities. Sure, they’re on the forefront of women’s rights, have boundless admiration for America, and have embraced marriage for all for years. Well, everyone knows that. But did you know that Iranians also know how to snap their fingers for a sound similar to maracas banging against each other and have an inherited gift for belly-slapping? Yes, we teach you a lot of useless stuff on Meerkat.
Thanks to Zalava, rural Iranians have also been known to believe in shooting a possessed person in the leg to exorcise the demon. And this group of Gardan koloft will put their superstitions into practice from the moment they are convinced that half the village is occupied and that it is all the fault of Sergeant Massoud, the local policeman with the appearance of Borat. Oh yeah mate. Assassin of the poliiiiice! Whoooop whoooop. Fuck the police. whoop whoop And since they are all doodoole kooshooloo, they will extend their inquisition to the village doctor. Especially since Massoud had told them boro gom shoh bisharaf and had imprisoned the most popular exorcist in the village.
We won’t lie to you, our expectations weren’t very high for this Zalava. And in the end we were very pleasantly surprised. Thanks to a good rhythm, an excellent cast and a sober but heavy overall mood, we almost manage to feel the suspicion and great doubt of the villagers, which pushes them to act in an irrational way. And when we know Zalava is only Arsalan Amiri’s first film, it is quite impressive. A very intelligent film without being boring or moralizing and therefore ultimately an excellent moment of immersion in Persian culture.
And if not, would you like to know how to get banned from Iran for life? Hey Khomeini! Cheers to the dahanet! ISLAND
Rubikon: a real ruby-con
Sorry for the silly pun in the title. But that sums up the whole movie: formally it’s a real gem, but for the rest it’s just uselessness and boredom. First Austrian science fiction film, Rubicon tackles a fairly authoritarian near future with a not-so-great climate. Hannah and Gavin are sent by the planetary authorities to a space station, just to verify a Russian scientist’s research on algae that can solve all the problems. During the investigations, a vile cloud envelops the earth and zigzags the scientist’s son and the rest of the crew. The last three survivors will have to live without knowing if they are alone in the universe. What’s next? We’ll never know, because the contemplative boredom of this film got the better of my motivation and it was better to run away before I slept (as many viewers did during the session). LS