I just bought a mini for my wife at Metaverse – News

If the fun of compiling a physical history book is not much different than finding out on the Kindle, driving in the virtual car should not be radically different.



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Published: Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 22.43

Last change: Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 22.53

Every time she saw the Mini Cooper in motion, his wife excitedly jumped up in her seat and shouted, “My car!” I’ve never bought one for her, though that enthusiasm has built up since 2010, when she spent a fortune getting the most coveted driver’s license in the world. I was still not convinced of his instincts and defensive driving skills.

Everything has changed since I stepped into the meta-verse, staffed by a Gen-Zer in the office.

The mere thought of the incredible grandeur of the universe and the existence of the light blue dot called the Earth in the cosmic system of matter and energy disillusion me even at this advanced age. Not to mention Metaverset – a whole new universe of virtual worlds – which is just as overwhelming and confusing. Claustrophobia suffocates me as I realize that man’s search for truth now takes it from the physical and spiritual realms to the exploration of existence in virtual reality.

It was then that I thought it would not be a bad idea to buy my wife a Mini Cooper in Metaverse. If the thrill of compiling a physical history book is not much different than finding out on the Kindle, it should not be radically different to drive in the virtual Mini Cooper, I thought.

“Let’s check the Mini out,” I said as she poured hot Ceylon tea into the physical china.

“Really ?! Do not gossip about me. Where are we going?”

“Mod mod metaverset.”

“Where is it? In the Meena Bazaar or bell tower?

I have since spent several nights explaining to him how Metaverse has become Lulu’s new hypermarket or city center where you can buy just about anything – from premium country to mansion, from Mini to Mercedes and from Cartier to Chopard.

“What about Kerala papad and shredded coconut?”

“Don’t worry, honey. Let’s start creating our avatars,” I repeated the metaverse expert on the editorial board.

“What is it?”

“Our virtual self. Since deity Vishnu had 10, you can have as many on different platforms. Maybe one day we can get a universal avatar with an Aadhar or Smart Emirates ID. We never know.”

“Oh, you mean the mythical avatar, the Sanskrit word? Why do you pronounce it with an inflection at the end? It’s not a-ve-TAR.

“Oh sorry, my bad.” In the days that followed, we let our imagination run wild by choosing stylish avatars in more stylish outfits. Wifey looked slim and sophisticated, as if she had just had a liposuction. I wore a pull-on and a polo shirt with a winter beret. She looked dazzling in a Fuchsia plaid, a pleated mini-tartan with a matching beret. We get rid of all the ugly carbs that age had dumped on all visible parts of the body with a click of the mouse.

“Are you sure about the stilettos? You recently went to rehab for plantar fasciitis. I said I chose a face without wrinkles and a crown full of heavy hair for myself.

“You said we could not smell, smell and touch in the metaverse. So why is it important? »

“Yes, but you never know that one of the other buyers may be your sister-in-law. I’m not quite sure about the miniskirt either.

“Look at this, I’m not doing my hair well. I have to pay for better options.

Then I informed her about creating virtual wallets filled with cryptocurrencies and NFTs.

“How do we do it?”

“We can buy NFTs, or non-fungible tokens, with cryptocurrencies; and to buy cryptocurrencies, you need cash.

Using her physical satisfaction from the physical school where she retired, to buy crypto, she said, “I’m ready. Oh my god, look at my curls. The night was young in the metaverse. Armed with a purse full of crypto we walked through the virtual Burj Park and strolled along the Dubai Canal.

“We have not paid Dewa this month,” my wife recalled as I was about to kiss her cheeks, which were made more rosy with virtual cosmetics, and occasionally traveled to the real world. “Usefulness first. Romance can wait. Either way, that’s not right, is it?”

We strolled through the unique human reality of Dubai Municipality to grasp our civic responsibilities and paid a quick visit to the MoHAP meta-house to get a quick forecast for its ever-increasing HbA1c levels.

The channel’s audience was waiting for a visit to a mansion, which was up for grabs for a few million. The headset played “Roses are red, violets are blue” while we watched in a classic Italian bedroom.

“Kiss me now. Close the door,” she said coquettishly. It was not so close to reality. The scent of medicinal coconut oil was missing in her hair. The touch of his lips did not burn my shoulders.

“Upgrade your app to premium to close the door. It’s freeware,” VR announced, forcing us to part ways.

In the Mini-showroom, things were as real as they can get, with the immersive experience of a test drive on the street. She walked Sheikh Zayed Road and Jumeirah Beach before paying at NFT for a full chocolate brown option. She modified it, added a rear spoiler and removed the muffler from the exhaust. An expression of satisfaction appeared on her face as she left the showroom. So far so good.

The caravan sounded the alarm as we left the Gold Souk where we tried on a pair of necklaces and took selfies but never bought.

“What’s up, honey?” »

“My purse is almost empty.”

“Assalamu alaykum. Have you tried a car a while ago,” asked the officer at The Sandbox police station, where we filed the complaint.

“Yes.”

‘There were 10 traffic offenses and 15 black spots in an hour and the fines were automatically deducted from your wallet. Rest assured there is no theft in this part of the world. It is the safest place on Earth.

On Earth or in the metaverse, I wondered when my wife said, “I’m so hungry.”

“Me too, but we do not eat in the metaverse.”

“Hey, did you haggle earlier?”

“I have a swollen stomach. How did you know that? You do not smell in the meta verse. By the way, this is your wallet password.

“Of your idiosyncratic VR sound effect,” she said, spraying a spray can for safety’s sake.

Wifey’s brand new Mini was missing when we returned from a sumptuous meal at De Fish in Karama. Identity theft was the regulator’s finding.

“The mini-meta is gone. Like my gratuity. Let’s go back,” my wife said with red eyes of despair as we rounded the corner of the virtual street in Kuwait. “Why is your tail wagging in secret, sir?” are you looking after?”

“Nothing. Hmm, Meta Massage Parlor I saw on Insta this morning.

suresh@khaleejtimes.com

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